Singapore

View of Singapore's skyline from Marina Bay.

Michael and I just got back from Singapore this past Sunday.

I enjoyed Singapore. In so many ways it's a complete 180〫from Delhi. For it's size and population density, there's hardly any traffic or pollution. And the amount of greenery is amazing.

It's really impressive to see how they've made the most of the limited space and resources they have.

But for all the things I liked about Singapore, I enjoyed the time we spent with a couple of our friends the most.

It made me think about the value that relationships have, and how without relationships, our lives are incredibly empty.

No matter whether we're in a pristine a city like Singapore or a chaotic scramble like Delhi, life is only meaningful when it's lived out in relationship with Jesus and those around us.

Sharing dinner and dessert with our friends.

I confess, I've left Jesus out of a lot of my traveling experiences. And as much as I've enjoyed all the places we've been able to visit, without Him, I've only been appreciating them at a superficial level.

But Jesus is more alive than any man and the only one who truly knows how to live life to the fullest. If He's not the focus, what's the point?

And if I really want my heart to be fully alive and living in the present, I need be in relationship with the Lord and invite Him into my experiences abroad.

5 easy (and effective) ways to brighten someone else's day

I mentioned in an earlier post on having impact that as we go through our day, there are simple things we can do to be intentional in our relationships with others. I wanted to elaborate on that a little more by giving you some very basic gestures to implement in your day-to-day goings.

So here are the 5 easy and effective ways I use to connect with those around me during the day:

1. It doesn't cost you to give a compliment.

Remember the times when you were little and your teacher would compliment your work on an assignment? Or when you got a hive-5 from your coach on a good play? What about recently when your boss recognized you in front of your team or organization?

The times when we've been praised for a job well done are easy to remember. They're the small shining treasures we're proud of and we feel good about. They give us confidence for the days when we don't hear that "thank you" for our hard work.

By contrast, how often do we get told when we're not doing our job? For each time we can remember being recognized for our hard work, I bet most of us can remember five other times when we were not recognized. Ouch.

A lot of times we think we don't need to say "thank you" when someone is doing something they're already expected to do. While I think there are a lot of instances where that's true, I also think it's important to acknowledge that no one has to do anything for you or anyone else. I believe there is a balance between being entitled and being grateful. Sure, a waiter is expected to bring food to my table when I eat out, but I'm still thankful for his service - even if it's an already expected part of his job.

In a case study done by COLLOQUY, a loyalty marketing research and consulting network, they found that we're more likely to vocalize our negative experiences than our positive ones:

"75% of the general population said that when they’ve had a bad experience with a product or service they advise friends and family. That surpasses the 42% who said they always recommend a product or service they really like; the 71% who said they’re always looking to experience something new; and the 67% who said they love telling people about something new they’ve learned."^{[Hickman, Jill, and Wardah Malik. "Urban Legends: Word-of-Mouth Myths, Madvocates and Champions." COLLOQUY TalkTalk. LoyaltyOne. Cincinnati, OH. March 2011. Reading.]}

So it makes you wonder, how often do companies and individuals like our friends, family, and spouses get to hear when they've actually done something right?

Why don't we try something different? The next time you have a good experience, pay attention. Look at the person's name tag who is helping or serving you. Make mental notes and find a few attributes you really liked about the person helping you. Then, highlight those attributes and your experience in a note or phone call to their boss. If you're short on time, many restaurants and businesses have online feedback forms where you can submit your thoughts. It only takes 5 - 10 minutes at most to leave a quick note. And if you need more motivation, some companies will even mail you gift cards to their store or free meal vouchers at their restaurant.

Michael and I once submitted positive feedback on Macaroni Grill's website regarding our waitress. Within 2-3 weeks, we had a personal letter from customer relations and a $25 food gift certificate, thanking us for taking the time to share our experience. That's was basically a free meal for 4 sentences and 5 minutes of our time. Talk about a compliment that didn't cost us anything!

2. Smile like you mean it.

Have you ever noticed how we tend to gravitate towards people who smile more? Or how many of us go out of our way to get the sales associate who's smiling when we have a question about a product, simply because we think they'll be more helpful?

So what's in a smile that something so small can cause us to react in such overt ways? In an article published by Disa A. Sauter and Stephen C. Levinson titled "What's embodied in a smile?" they wrote that:
"... displays of amusement and pride were signaled by smiles, but that amused smiles tended to be open-mouthed, whereas smiles of pride had compressed lips. In contrast, awe was typically expressed with raised eyebrows and a slightly open mouth, but not with smiles. This study highlights that there is likely more than one kind of smile and that different smile configurations may communicate different affective states."[Disa A. Sauter and Stephen C. Levinson (2010). What's embodied in a smile?. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 33 , pp 457-458 doi:10.1017/S0140525X10001597]

It seems our smiles can literally speak volumes about what we're experiencing internally. Have you thought about what your smile (or lack thereof) is saying to those around you?

A strong, genuine smile makes you feel valuable and important. Conversely, a forced or fake smile can create tension or even hurt someone's feelings. A study from The University of Miami even learned that people who experience rejection might be able to better distinguish a fake smile from the real thing. They hypothesize this is because those who are aquatinted with rejection eventually learn cues that indicate insincerity, which helps them identify when to avoid wasting energies on potentially harmful relationships.[1]

Now really, how many times does someone have to experience rejection before they develop skills for telling the difference between a genuine smile and an insincere smile - all so they won't be hurt? It makes me incredibly sad to think this is life for some people, and particularly here in India among the Dalits and others in poverty. This is an area of innocence that no one should loose. A child learns to trust that a smile means care, love and security. When does that unguarded trust turn to suspicion? I pray we all try to be more aware of our own authenticity in our actions and smiles.

Unfortunately, however, fake smiling doesn't just affect those who have experienced rejection. It can have some pretty big impacts internally for you too. Another study published in the Academy of Management Journal, researchers Brent Scott and Christopher Barnes discovered that fake smiling can actually be worse for you than not smiling at all. In a practice labeled "surface acting", they discovered that employees who were required to "put on a face" for their boss were prone to burn out and in some cases depression.[2]

The need to put on a face to impress typically comes from insecurity. But we are very limited creatures and our well of life only runs so deep, so we can only keep up the performance for so long. To change this we have to look externally to an infinite and pure resource to meet our need. In his very self, Jesus offers an eternal resource of living water that never runs dry or leaves you feeling empty. There is nothing lacking in you when you are filled with Him. When He's living in your heart, you won't be smiling because you have to anymore, you'll suddenly be smiling because you can't help yourself!

The bottom line is that smiling is one of those tiny actions that has huge impact. The next time you're out shopping, meeting new people, ordering food or even talking over the phone, be aware that your smile is affecting those around you just as much as it's affecting you.

So do yourself and others a favor and smile like you mean it!

3. If they matter, remembering their name matters.

Obviously, I believe that human beings are all created in the image of God and because of that, each and everyone of us is valuable independent of what we may think.

So by saying that everyone matters, am I'm saying that everyone deserves having their name remembered?

Well... yes.

Honestly, this really isn't that difficult to do, especially considering most people you run across on a day-to-day basis will have a name tag, name plate or business card to identify them. For everyone else, you'll just have to do it the old fashion way by asking and remembering!

You know that lady who ALWAYS checks you out at the grocery store? You know, the one with the short, brown, stringy hair? Yeah, her name is Wendy. But you knew that already didn't you? And how did you know that? Her name tag.

So now that you knew her name, the next time instead of averting eye-contact by fumbling around in your purse or pretending to be more interested at the trash magazines beside you, ask Wendy how she's doing. She probably won't share a whole lot the first time, but listen for key details. Then the next time you're in there, let Wendy know it's good seeing her again and bring up a few of the things she mentioned last time. It will show her you genuinely care and she'll begin to open up a little more each and every time.

Heck, she may even begin to like scanning that stinky cheese and fish you always buy.

We all want to feel special, and whether we like our name or not, a bit of our identity is attached to it. Remembering a person's name is like saying, "I know there are 7 billion people on this planet, but you're important to me and you matter!"

4. Please just shut up and listen.

"If A equals success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut." -  Albert Einstein

Have you ever been pouring your heart out about a really frustrating problem, only to have the "listener" TELL you what you need to do? Or worse, they end up telling you how you ought to feel, basically making your emotional experience illegitimate?

Next they'll somehow turn your vent session around to focus on them and their personal problems. Before you know it, you're somehow consoling the person who's supposed to be consoling you!

I sheepishly admit to being that person on more than one occasion. And I'm sure there's been several times I've made people want to ask: "Ashley, will you please just shut up and listen?!"

I read once that if you want to persuade someone you're a good friend, then be quiet and listen. Unfortunately, listening is not a strength for most of us. But with some practice and refocusing, we can all learn to become better listeners.

The first step to being a good listener involves, you guessed it: learning how to listen! Too often we're more focused on getting to say what's on our mind than paying attention to the other person talking. Often times, what a person doesn't say communicates a lot more than what they do say. But when we're not fully invested in the person in front of us, we may end up missing those subtle details or hidden information. Listening involves taking the focus off of yourself and giving your full attention to the person speaking.

Christian philosopher Greg Koukl once shared in a lecture that if you want people to think you're interesting, ask questions! So the second step to being a better listener is to ask relevant questions. And asking questions actually helps you as much as it helps the person talking because it keeps you engaged in the conversation and it communicates interest in the speaker.

Then, depending on the conversation or person, there may be an opportunity to give advice or feedback -- but don't be surprised if some people are just happy to have someone listen to them.

To give you an example, last year Michael and I spent the weekend together with some friends in Arkansas at a healing conference. In the evening we went out to a Wal-Mart to heal people in Jesus' name. We were able to minister to several people, but just before leaving, Michael and I saw a lady in a motorized cart. Since we were in "healing mode" we weren't anticipating that maybe this woman just needed someone to listen when we initially approached her.

It turned out, she did have an illness and some pain, but she had recently moved to Arkansas with no family or friends, and the family she did have wouldn't speak to her. So in this case taking the time to let this woman vent and cry meant more to her than not having to use her motorized cart. Listening was the most loving thing we could have done.

Which leads me to the third step in becoming a good listener: Being a good listener means being flexible.

Listening is a full-time job, and you have to be ready in and out of season. I'm not saying let people "dump" on you all the time and use you to justify their unhealthy behaviors. I'm saying be giving in your time and flexible in your actions. Meaning, give people the time of day and don't give canned responses. We're all individuals with unique needs at different times in our life. Can you give 100% of your time to every single person on the planet, obviously the answer is no. But with healthy boundaries, you can at least give some of your listening time to those you encounter day-to-day.

By giving your full attention, asking the right questions, and being sensitive to where that person is at you'll become an effective listener, and through love, bring comfort to someone's day.

5. Being loyal does not mean you have to be a creeper.

Building a relationship takes time - something that most of us seriously lack. Fortunately with a little more intentionality and focus, you can build relationships with people practically anywhere you go.

The moment most of us left high school or college, making friends instantly became very difficult. The bubble that gave context and routine to our friendships popped with graduation, and despite all the oaths, swearing and promises we made - we eventually lost touch with most folks.

We enter the "real world" guaranteed with less structure, similarities and time than we had while in school. Suddenly we don't have to have lunch or class with the same people everyday. Sure you work with the same people seven days a week, but you quickly learn that you're not necessarily obligated to interact with them in meaningful ways. And it's that convenient little option that, while freeing at first, can eventually shut you off to making new friends.

So now when you get off work and stop in by the convenient store, you maintain that same attitude: "I have my own tasks to take care of and I'm not obligated to interact with anyone outside of my bubble." So you get your cigarettes, pay for your gas and treat the cashier just like a program on your computer. You insert cash and get back a product.

Let's say this is the case for you. Every day, for the next three years, you make a stop at this particular convenient store on your way home. If we were to multiply the average number of working days in the U.S. (260) by those three years, that means you could potentially be visiting this convenient store 780 times. That's 780 times you could have the opportunity to learn the cashier's name, how his day went, how his kids are doing, or what his plans were for the weekend. That might even be enough time to figure out if you even like the guy or not!

Whether this is your routine or not, my point is, it doesn't take being a complete stalker to get to know someone. If you like buying lotto tickets, try going to the same gas station that's on your way home and getting to know the cashier. Like coffee? Visit the same coffee shop before you go into work in the mornings and have a little small talk with the barista. Was that frozen yogurt last Friday night amazing? Go back next Friday, and this time, invite your friends and introduce them to the manager. (By the way, Michael and I have actually done this and scored free yogurt and coupons in the process.)

By practicing loyalty to a certain location or person you allow for an increased opportunity for relationship. I'm not saying break the bank by driving to the other side of town and ordering a mocha frape maximum grande every single day of the week. I'm saying as you go look for occasions to build a relationship with people you already come into contact with.

Michael and I like coffee. As in really like coffee. Hold the Starbucks, if you please - we want the good stuff. We've invested in different specialty brewers, grinders and we occasionally even roast our own beans. So does it make sense for us to go out and spend $56 a week on coffee when we have everything we need to make an amazing cup at home? Of course not. But once a week or so, on our date night, we make a visit to a local coffee shop. Why? Because $8 a week is worth a friendship or at least getting to know someone a little better.

Take for instance the story I shared about the woman at the coffee shop in Houston. Michael and I have made it a point to visit this particular coffee shop at least once every time we're in Houston. And because of that effort, it's opened up a realm of influence into the owner's life. So much so that she's cried on our shoulder and we've been able to pray with her. All that just from taking time to talk to her like a human being and not a coffee-making robot.

There are probably countless ways you can build relationship with people. Be creative and think of those you already have regular contact with that no one else does. Is it the elderly lady that walks her dog when you run every night? Is it the Post Office clerk that works every Friday when you go to mail your bills? Is it the homeless man on that one intersection right before you turn onto the highway? Is there someone who needs compliment or smile that I'm in a unique position to give? Is there someone worth remembering their name and who needs me to listen when no one else will?

Contrary to what some may still think, this kind of an effort doesn't make you a weirdo. It may make you an exception to the hundreds of other people that walk through a person's life - but it does not make you creepy. You just need to ask yourself: If you don't care to be loyal and make an investment in that person's life, who else will?

The place where everybody knows your name.

Just reading those words instantly bring the melody of the theme song from Cheers to mind.

We all want to believe there's a place for us in the world. A place with genuine smiles, friends, laughter and warmth. A place where we can catch a break and let our guard down. And I think that's the reason so many of us warm up to the song "Where Everybody Knows Your Name".

I believe the Church should be that place for the world. (And by Church, I mean the living, breathing, moving Body of Christ - not necessarily the fixed structure made of four walls and a steeple.)

I believe as the walking, talking Body of Jesus we can be the place where people come to meet with a familiar friend, one who knows their name and listens when they had a bad day. Sinners and tax collectors wanted to be around Jesus. They felt comfortable around him because he gave them the time of day. He didn't treat them like a bunch of hopeless, unlawful scumbags. He treated them like human beings who were desperately loved by an all good and all wonderful Father.

Can people say that they feel comfortable around you, just like Jesus? Can people say that they feel special when they're around you, just like Jesus? Can people say they see Jesus when they see you?

As an ambassador in chains to the Gosepl (Jesus), the answer to all those questions should be yes, yes, yes! If not, maybe it's time to reevaluate who we're reflecting and adjust our mirrors to see Jesus!

"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same.  You wanna be where everybody knows Your name. You wanna go where people know, people are all the same. You wanna go where everybody knows your name..."

--------------------

1. Association for Psychological Science. "Phony Friends? Rejected People Better Able To Spot Fake Smiles." ScienceDaily, 24 Oct. 2008. Web. 22 Nov. 2011.
2. Michigan State University. "For a better workday, smile like you mean it." ScienceDaily, 22 Feb. 2011. Web. 21 Nov. 2011.

Having Impact

Serving food to a community of migrant workers in Ciudad Juarez. (2008)

As of today, both our visas have been approved. We expect them to arrive by tomorrow which will allow us to fly out as early as this coming Monday. But lately as we've been saying our goodbyes, I've been noticing the impact we've had on those around us. Everyone from the kid at our favorite coffee shop to the cashier at our local pharmacy has been in some way impacted by us.

It really hit me this morning when Michael and I received a thank you from one of the gals in our old leasing office. Before we broke our lease the assistant manager was adamant that we should see her one last time to say our goodbyes, but when we turned in our keys she had already gone for the day. So I left a little note, sharing how much we enjoyed living there and what a pleasure it's been to know her. I wrote some contact information and set it on her desk. After we got back to our hotel, I went to their corporate website and left some positive feedback sharing how amazing the staff had been and we felt they should be recognized for their stellar service.

So this morning, when I read the response from her I was totally touched by it. It was incredibly personal and sweet. She thanked us for the feedback we sent to their corporate office and made it a point to say: "It really made my day and believe me, the feeling is mutual." I suddenly had this moment where I realized how easily our life can have impact on someone else when we're intentional about loving as we go.


Rivers, Dams, and Crash Diet Christianity

One unfortunate and natural consequence of the the church being institutionalized is that we compartmentalize our spiritual life from our "worldly" life. It's kind of like crash dieting in that we set aside a fixed time period for intense, highly spiritualized ministry - but as soon as we're done we go back to our normal routine and eventually put back on all those "pounds" (read: sin) we tried so hard to loose. But Jesus says in Luke that: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Being a disciple of Jesus means we live in a perpetual state of freely receiving love from the Father and freely sharing that love with others.

In John 7:38 Jesus describes this free-flowing lifestyle as having "rivers of living water." Any river that gets dammed up automatically means it is not flowing freely. In fact, damming up a powerful river at designated intervals can be disastrous for the land that follows it's course. Jesus then says in Matthew 6:24 that: “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." So it is not only unnecessary to categorize our lives into neat boxes of "secular" and "religious", but Jesus says it's actually impossible for us to do that!

In the same ways that crash dieting is too extreme to be sustainable long-term, and damming up a strong river brings extremes of deluge or drought; compartmentalizing our walk with Jesus brings reoccuring "spiritual" highs and lows that stunt growth and can eventually lead to burn out.


A Recovering To-Do Lister

Michael and I pay bills, get coffee, check our mail, go out to eat, and shop for last-minute gifts just like anyone else. The only thing we may do differently is that we make certain allowances in our time because we put building a relationship above task completion. We go into all situations assuming we can make a friend and we value a lasting friendship more than a forty-minute dinner at Cheesecake Factory.

And all this is coming from yours truly, who by nature, is an extremely task-oriented individual! It isn't easy for me to allow wiggle room when I'm in "the zone". I view most relationships as an assignment to accomplish rather than a gift to enjoy. It sounds so mechanical and cold, but that's just how my brain works! Of course I enjoy good conversation. It just needs to be scheduled and on my to-do list. It's truly not my natural inclination to just go with the flow and allow for that unexpected chit-chat at the gas pump when I've got places to go and things to do!

But over time I've learned how to be more intentional in that area and I've allowed Jesus to shift my priorities around. On Jesus' way to raise Lazarus from the dead (which by the way, Lazarus was someone he dearly loved and cared for) he took the time to "minister" to a women who had been bleeding for twelve years. Jesus was never too task-focused for a relationship-building opportunity. Can you imagine if Jesus had said to that woman, "Sorry, Friday night is when I do outreach, if you want to be healed of your ailment, come to me then." If Jesus is the exact representation of God, and he made himself so available as to heal a woman (who by the way was acting unlawfully by touching a rabbi while being ceremonially unclean due to her bleeding) while on his way to raise his friend from death; what then does that say about our Heavenly Father?

God commands in Leviticus 6:13 that "Fire shall be kept burning on the altar continually; it shall not go out." The temple was a shadow of God grandeur design, but the symbolism here is so rich. God's love, forgiveness, salvation, mercy, grace, goodness... All of who He is is always available to us. Always. And there is nothing you or I or anyone else can do to remove our High Priest (who is Jesus) from His temple (which is us)! He is always near to us and He will never stop loving us: "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rm 38-39)


The God Who Made His Dwelling Place With Man

Traveling musicians in the Old Market

district of Omaha, Nebraska.

God designed us for Him, to have impact for Him, and to love with His big strong love. Our favorite response when someone asks us how we've been is to say, "Busy!" We're simply "too busy" to get to know these people that we run in to day after day after day. They shouldn't be a stranger to us, but since we believe that there are special times for taking interest in other people's lives, we never think outside the box and reach out. We miss out on these incredible opportunities to connect and share the love of God.

That one human being that we don't notice is the same one that God is completely and totally fixed upon. He is watching their every move. He's in love. His heart is captivated by them. And His love for them is inside of our hearts too, if He is in fact dwelling in us. Let's not dam up the "rivers of living water" that flow from the heart of God and though our hearts. And let's also not preform a hyper-drive crash diet love that really only comes from our own limited efforts and cannot be sustained. Instead let's just allow Jesus to live through us and give Him freedom to take genuine interest in the clerk at the pharmacy or the high school student at the coffee shop.

Jesus is enough. Every day, He is enough. Because of Him and through Him and for Him, we can have impact.

In your daily routine, how can you reach out to those you encounter? Off the top of your head, how many people can you think of where there's the opportunity to build a closer relationship with them?

Thank You

My grandma Clarine
Nov. 8th, 1932 - Sep.  6th, 2011

My grandma Clarine passed away on September 6th.

Her twin sister, my Aunt Charlene, died three weeks earlier.

It's been a time of grief and sorrow for my family. A time for reflection and mourning. A time for comfort and tenderness. And during seasons like this, it can be difficult to find a reason to be thankful.

But we can still make the choice.

There's a lot I could say, but I think the most important fact is my Grandma knew Jesus. When her health began to decline several years ago, I had many opportunities to pray for and with her. Sometimes I'd pray with her in person when I was in town, sometimes over the phone, and other times I would write a prayer in a card and mail it to her. I'm thankful for the times I could listen to her and offer her my support through prayer.

It's hard being sick all the time. Where the hours go for someone in pain no one knows, but I do know that Jesus counts them all. I know that His skin was torn into with shards of metal, nail and bone for our healing. His body was beaten and scourged so that our bodies could be made whole. Jesus died for our eternal salvation - yes - but he died for our temporal well-being too. We can partake in His victory during our time here on earth just as much as His victory after death in heaven.

My grandma out with family at the pool.

My grandma told me that some days she would just tell the Devil, "Get out of here!" She knew it wasn't God making her sick. God doesn't make people sick; the devil does. He's a liar, thief and murderer. But Jesus said he saw Satan fall like lightening from heaven and told his disciples that they had been given all authority to tread on Satan and all his minions.

We still have that authority today, and that alone is something to be thankful for.

I don't understand why some people get healed and some people don't. It makes me sad that out of all the times I prayed for my grandma, she wasn't healed of all her pain. I confess to even experiencing guilt for not praying enough or harder or fasting more, or something, anything... But God's grace is made perfect in our weakness.  More importantly, I know that my experiences do not define the truth. And I'm so thankful for the reality that God's grace is sufficient and it's His good pleasure to give us healing.

My sister, mom, grandma and me.

During our trip to Houston in August, I was able to have some private time with my grandma in her bedroom. We joked a little, she wished us the best in India and she told me that she and grandpa knew how much I loved them. Then she held my hand and simply said, "Ashley, I can feel it." And I knew she was telling me goodbye for the last time here on earth. I nodded and all I could think to say was, "Okay grandma."

Sometimes a lot more is said in someone eyes than words can express. I knew she was tired. She was ready. I'm thankful I was given the opportunity to look her in the eye, tell her I loved her and say goodbye.

I don't know this for sure, but I think sometimes God bypasses our emotions with his grace to enable us to complete a task. At my grandma's memorial, I sat behind my grandpa, my mom, and her three brothers. I could only see their backs, but my heart was filled with compassion and sadness for them. My heart ached terribly watching my grandpa's sagging shoulders or the seeing the tissue raised to my mom's face. In John 11:35 it says that Jesus literally burst into tears at the sight of Lazarus' family weeping. I thank God for the closure I received before my grandma's passing if it meant there was some way I could be a comfort to my family.

Michael and I leave for India soon and I am thankful I was able to see my family one last time at my grandma's funeral. I have a lot to be thankful for... my friends, my family, my husband, and my Savior. I'm thankful that when I prayed for my family to come to know Jesus, God opened his heart to me in sharing that burden. He loves them more than I could ever imagine. He is near to the brokenhearted and He is a God who is moved by our heart.

Thank you for my grandma, Lord. Thank you for Jesus and all the answered prayers found in Him. And thank you for the image of my grandmother walking beside you in your Holy Kingdom. You are so good.

Wonderful Counselor

We're home from our month-long trip in Albuquerque and still waiting to hear back on the official offer for Michael's long-term assignment to India. So far all parties have agreed to the position and Michael's interview went well. All that's left now is for headquarters in Sweden to review the proposal and the contract will be sent to the U.S. By August fifteenth we should expect the proposal to arrive, which might impact when we actually move or it might not. But until we hear different, September first is still our "D-Day" for India.

It's been a rough time since we've been home. For me, the drive back was long and from the get-go, it seems like one thing after another has piled up. Everything from my aloe vera randomly dying to finding out my Grandma P's condition has become extremely poor. But the majority of concerns are family-related and it has me asking a lot of questions about how ready I am to be away from them for a year or more.

I've always struggled with carrying worry that isn't necessarily inside my boundary realm, so I've been having a hard time feeling guilty about moving away to India. A lot of the thoughts I've been wrestling with deal with abandonment: "Am I abandoning my family? Are we abandoning our family? Will I regret not taking advantage of being so close to them in the states?" Eventually, I shift my inward thoughts to God and approach Him with these questions.

So, the Wonderful Counselor listens and we work through it together.

Starting with... Where does my realm of control end and His begin? David says in Psalm 16:6: "The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places..." So I must remember that in all things God helps set healthy and "pleasant" boundaries in my life. Worrying for my family does not affect their situation one way or the other. And it says to God that I do not trust him to preserve their well-being. I cannot add or subtract one hair from my own head by worrying - much less someone else's head! God loves my family beyond comprehension. Can I tell God how to love them better? Will my worrying do a better job for them than the methods God is presently using?

Then I think: Is "abandon" even an accurate word? It's not like I own my family. God does. They're not "mine". They're God's. Only Jesus can truly be held personally responsible for every individual on the face of this planet. Being in Houston may grant me more physical access to my family; but it does not necessarily grant me access to their hearts, cares or concerns. How can I abandon what I never owned?

Guy walking on glass at River City Market

Despite these talks, my emotions have been getting ahead of me occasionally, and I still have more to process. But I will say that the last couple days have allowed me to focus on walking this out in the present-tense. I've been letting myself just experience the full realm of feelings attached with moving to a foreign place. And it's been good. It's almost like I woke up one day and was like, "Oh my gosh. We're moving to India." Then I got butterflies. We're really moving to India. Ok. I can do this.

God is with us and with our family at the same time. And I look to my Savior for an example of how to maintain peace in the midst of my worries. Jesus knew he was responsible for the salvation of the whole world, but he found time to sleep on a boat during a storm and have dinner with sinners and tax collectors. He told his disciples "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble." (Matt 6:34) He did nothing apart from what He saw the Father doing (Jn 5:19) and was content to do His will.

(Haha.. gosh. If this past year has been anything at all, it's been one big lesson in contentment. I wonder what I've learned?)

I never want to forget that no matter how stressful this transition might get - it's for a reason and it's all just apart of the Adventure God has invited us to go on.

Are you in a season of waiting or rest right now? How have you been intentional during this time and what advice can you give others?