Singapore

View of Singapore's skyline from Marina Bay.

Michael and I just got back from Singapore this past Sunday.

I enjoyed Singapore. In so many ways it's a complete 180〫from Delhi. For it's size and population density, there's hardly any traffic or pollution. And the amount of greenery is amazing.

It's really impressive to see how they've made the most of the limited space and resources they have.

But for all the things I liked about Singapore, I enjoyed the time we spent with a couple of our friends the most.

It made me think about the value that relationships have, and how without relationships, our lives are incredibly empty.

No matter whether we're in a pristine a city like Singapore or a chaotic scramble like Delhi, life is only meaningful when it's lived out in relationship with Jesus and those around us.

Sharing dinner and dessert with our friends.

I confess, I've left Jesus out of a lot of my traveling experiences. And as much as I've enjoyed all the places we've been able to visit, without Him, I've only been appreciating them at a superficial level.

But Jesus is more alive than any man and the only one who truly knows how to live life to the fullest. If He's not the focus, what's the point?

And if I really want my heart to be fully alive and living in the present, I need be in relationship with the Lord and invite Him into my experiences abroad.

Michelangelo's Tragedy and the Sistine Chapel

Entrance to the Sistine Chapel.
(No pictures were allowed inside.)

While Michael and I were on our tour of the Vatican, our guide spent some time talking about the history behind the Sistine Chapel and the famed artist, Michelangelo, who painted it. You can read on your own a more detailed account of what happened, according to Michelangelo, but I'll just quickly relate the story here.

It goes something like this: At the time, the Pope's conclave was in need of some refreshing and so he asks the famed fresco painter, Raphael, who he should commission to paint the chapel. Raphael recommends Michelangelo - who was known more for his sculpting than painting. Raphael's hope was that if Michelangelo botched the painting of the chapel, Raphael's own work would achieve greater recognition, meanwhile Michelangelo's reputation as an artist would be ruined.

The Pope listens to Raphael's recommendation and tells Michelangelo that he wants him to paint the chapel. But Michelangelo is hesitant and declines the Pope's initial request because he believed he was only a sculpture, and not a painter.

But the Pope is insistent, and so some 500 years later, we have Michelangelo's famously-painted ceiling and altar wall of the Sistine Chapel.

When our tour guide was done telling this story, she asked a couple of incredibly powerful questions: "Just think, what if the whole time Michelangelo knew that he was more than just a sculptor and that he was a painter too? How many more Sistine Chapel's would we have in existence today?"

Those questions got me thinking, how much is lost when we chain down our identities to what we believe we can or can't do?

Then I began applying our guide's questions a little differently to my own experiences: What if I knew I was more than just a wife or a cook? What if that homeless man knew he was more than a homeless man? What if the kid who didn't make the basketball team knew he was more than just a basketball player?

What if our identities weren't wrapped up in our beliefs about ourselves?

What if we let ourselves be, as Mother Teresa once said, "a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world"?

Historians have since gone back and said Michelangelo's account of how he came to paint the Sistine Chapel is probably untrue, and that there's no external evidence to suggest that Raphael had any plans to underhand Michelangelo. 

But even if the story's not true, don't you think it's sad that Michelangelo wrote it down as though it was? Don't you think it says something about how Michelangelo viewed himself? 

It makes me wonder too, where was the voice of truth in Michelangelo's life? Who did he have in his life that could have encouraged more of his talents in painting as well as sculpting?

I'm not saying that everyone's a Michelangelo waiting to happen. There are just some skills we stink at, and we'd be fooling ourselves not to admit that. (We've all seen American Idol and what happens when people don't have an accurate perception of their abilities).

But sometimes we're actually closing doors to greater things when we mistakingly believe we don't posses a certain skill or quality. And that's a tragedy.

The Pietà by Michelangelo, inside St. Peter's Basilica.

No one can deny that Michelangelo was genius. And whether or not he painted a million more Sistine Chapels if had he considered himself a painter, doesn't take away from all the other masterpieces he created.

But the tragedy of Michelangelo does not lie in his accomplishments or lack of accomplishments. The tragedy of Michelangelo is that he believed a lie that his painting skills were inferior and not worth investing in.

Many of us today have been believing a lie that we don't have anything to offer the world. But Paul says in Romans that creation is groaning, waiting for the sons of man to be fully revealed.

And not only is all of creation groaning, but Jesus is yearning for us to walk in the fullness of His design too.

Living out the fullness of who He created us to be brings joy to the world, and glory to the One who meticulously sculpted and fashioned you before the world began.

Are we there yet?

The moving van parked outside our apartment.

The movers came Tuesday and, just like that, all of our stuff is packed and ready for long-term storage or India. Michael recorded the some of the process  on video in case we want to share it with family and friends (or kids) someday.

Before the movers were scheduled to come out we had to complete what's called a "Valued Inventory" of our belongings. So for the past month we've been hammering away on this massive inventory list for the moving company and insurance. 

If you have ever done one of these before, you know how big of a headache they can be. If you haven't, I'd liken it to one of those papers your professor assigns at the beginning of the semester, but since it isn't due until the end you put it off. You know, the kind where you're supposed to pace yourself but instead you only do a little research here and there. After a while you think, "Hey, this isn't so bad after all" and you might even start to wonder why everyone else is so stressed about it. But then you really dig in and suddenly you realize how much work you're going to have to do to get this paper done.

And I wouldn't say that we have a lot of stuff. In fact, I'd say we're pretty bare bones. But we didn't realize how much stuff we actually owned until we had to list it out, piece by individual piece, then ascribe a monetary value to it. We decided to look at more than just the cost of replacement, but whether or not a particular item held any present usefulness. So it didn't matter how much something was worth, if we knew it wouldn't work for us in India, it stayed behind or went to a donation center.

Our visas are still pending approval, so we'll be staying in a hotel until those arrive (hopefully within the next week or so.) October through February is the best time to visit Delhi, but October in particular is a holiday month for most Indians. Because of this, our visas could possibly take much longer than usual.

Are you sure all that came from inside our place?

Michael and I are still in disbelief. Is this really happening? I mean… really? Are we actually moving to India - and are we actually going to be living there? For a year? Or more? It makes you ask other questions like: "Why us? What made us so special? Why were we given this opportunity and not someone else?"

September 25th came and went this year, but on that day in 2008 God was doing a lot of amazing things in my life. I was experiencing incredible deliverance and healing. His Holy Spirit was ministering to my heart and He was sharing his heart with me. On one occasion we were talking and Jesus told me three times: "I have great things in store for you. I have great things in store for you. I have great things in store for you."

I look back on that conversation and remember all the adventures Michael and I have been on together. Then I think.. Wow. God is so amazing. He's so good. He knew about India when He told me that. The God of the universe - He's so big - shared His heart with me. Like a Father teasing his little girl with a big surprise, God let me in on a little bit of His plans for me.

You can call me wishy-washy, but I think dates have meanings. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, began at sunset September 28th. Yom Kippur, The Day of Atonement, begins at sunset October 7th (tomorrow). Michael and I are entering a new season, a new adventure. In India, what will God have in store for us in the Jewish year of 5772?

Does God communicate to you through special dates or observances in your life? What are some significant seasons you cherish in the time you've known Jesus?

An Experience Vs. An Investment

Jerky from Wray & Gwen: always a welcome package to find on our doorstep.

Michael and I spent the week before last in Houston with my family. As expected, it was a bittersweet time for me. You can never spend enough time with those you love before you say goodbye.

A month from tomorrow we will be moving to India. I have to stop when I say that because it's still so incredible to me. When I look back on my life I don't believe I ever once entertained the idea of living in another country -- let alone India.

Backpacking through Europe? You bet. Moving to India for a year or more? Not even on the radar.

But Westerners have always been drawn to the East. We have these caricatures of entire societies made up of belly dancing girls, snake charmers, elephant-riding sultans, endless varieties of exotic spices, and all other lures of the orient.

And I guess those ideas aren't created in a vacuum. But popping in and out of a culture for a few experiential trinkets is a lot different that setting your down roots in one.

I think there is a lot of room for romanticizing and setting up false expectations (it is India we're talking about after all). When you watch shows like "House Hunter's International" you get excited for these couples moving to Bulgaria, Rome, South Africa, or wherever. But you never get to see if ten years down the road their investment paid off. You only get to see their initial experiences.

The difference in moving to another culture for an experience verses going to make an investment simply boils down to the difference between a contractual mindset verses a covenantal mindset. Or to put it not-so-nicely: Moving for selfish reasons verses moving for selfless reasons.

Really, if you think about it, whether it's a new box of markers or a new romance, anything new is exciting to us. But 'new' inevitable becomes 'old' and it's at that point the immature and superficial leave. The mature and steady will push through and remain.

A contractual mindset thinks in terms of conditions and (usually) personal conveniences:

• "If he cheats on me, I'll divorce him." 
• "If I have to write a twenty-five page paper for this class, I'll drop it."
• "If I don't get that raise, I'm quitting."
• "If I get tired of India, I'll just move back home."

But a covenant mindset has no terms or limitations; it completely negates the "if" in the equation:

• "No matter if cheats me, I'll get help, but I will stand by his side until the end."
• "No matter if I have to write a twenty-five page paper for this class, I will give it my best and complete the task." 
• "No matter if I don't get that raise, I will continue to perform my responsibilities as well as, if not better, than before."
• "No matter if I get tired of India, I will remember I'm not here for me, I'm here for a purpose that is yet to be accomplished."

My own "work and creativity zone".

In short, a contractual mindset doesn't have to cost you anything. But a a covenant mindset will always cost you something, if not eventually everything.

There is a lot of novelty to India.... but there's a lot to be frustrated by also. If we want to endure things for the long haul, we have to look at India as an investment. Just like in financial markets, there will be losses in our emotional, spiritual and physical "markets", but the long-term yields eternal dividends.

It's exciting to think about finding a flat in Delhi and romanticize the expatriate life. But what will we do six months into it when the routine sets in? What happens when we wake up homesick and realize things break, the food tastes bad, and the traffic sucks?

We'll remember that India is more than just a temporal experience. India is an eternal investment.

India is God's investment, and God's credit is good. God is so sure this investment will pay off that he's given us his Son's inheritance in advance. What a rich and generous a Father we have!

Do you catch yourself jumping from one "high" to the next? Which mindset (contractual or covenantal) do you think is the most prevalent here in America?

Wonderful Counselor

We're home from our month-long trip in Albuquerque and still waiting to hear back on the official offer for Michael's long-term assignment to India. So far all parties have agreed to the position and Michael's interview went well. All that's left now is for headquarters in Sweden to review the proposal and the contract will be sent to the U.S. By August fifteenth we should expect the proposal to arrive, which might impact when we actually move or it might not. But until we hear different, September first is still our "D-Day" for India.

It's been a rough time since we've been home. For me, the drive back was long and from the get-go, it seems like one thing after another has piled up. Everything from my aloe vera randomly dying to finding out my Grandma P's condition has become extremely poor. But the majority of concerns are family-related and it has me asking a lot of questions about how ready I am to be away from them for a year or more.

I've always struggled with carrying worry that isn't necessarily inside my boundary realm, so I've been having a hard time feeling guilty about moving away to India. A lot of the thoughts I've been wrestling with deal with abandonment: "Am I abandoning my family? Are we abandoning our family? Will I regret not taking advantage of being so close to them in the states?" Eventually, I shift my inward thoughts to God and approach Him with these questions.

So, the Wonderful Counselor listens and we work through it together.

Starting with... Where does my realm of control end and His begin? David says in Psalm 16:6: "The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places..." So I must remember that in all things God helps set healthy and "pleasant" boundaries in my life. Worrying for my family does not affect their situation one way or the other. And it says to God that I do not trust him to preserve their well-being. I cannot add or subtract one hair from my own head by worrying - much less someone else's head! God loves my family beyond comprehension. Can I tell God how to love them better? Will my worrying do a better job for them than the methods God is presently using?

Then I think: Is "abandon" even an accurate word? It's not like I own my family. God does. They're not "mine". They're God's. Only Jesus can truly be held personally responsible for every individual on the face of this planet. Being in Houston may grant me more physical access to my family; but it does not necessarily grant me access to their hearts, cares or concerns. How can I abandon what I never owned?

Guy walking on glass at River City Market

Despite these talks, my emotions have been getting ahead of me occasionally, and I still have more to process. But I will say that the last couple days have allowed me to focus on walking this out in the present-tense. I've been letting myself just experience the full realm of feelings attached with moving to a foreign place. And it's been good. It's almost like I woke up one day and was like, "Oh my gosh. We're moving to India." Then I got butterflies. We're really moving to India. Ok. I can do this.

God is with us and with our family at the same time. And I look to my Savior for an example of how to maintain peace in the midst of my worries. Jesus knew he was responsible for the salvation of the whole world, but he found time to sleep on a boat during a storm and have dinner with sinners and tax collectors. He told his disciples "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble." (Matt 6:34) He did nothing apart from what He saw the Father doing (Jn 5:19) and was content to do His will.

(Haha.. gosh. If this past year has been anything at all, it's been one big lesson in contentment. I wonder what I've learned?)

I never want to forget that no matter how stressful this transition might get - it's for a reason and it's all just apart of the Adventure God has invited us to go on.

Are you in a season of waiting or rest right now? How have you been intentional during this time and what advice can you give others?

Passing Time

We've basically been in India-mode for the past couple weeks. Which means the most exciting thing in the world could happen right this instant and we would only be minimally interested: "What's that? Grandma's going sky-diving this weekend? Oh. That's nice."

Staying focused in any capacity has been a real challenge. Our minds just aren't living in the present - they're thinking about the next few months and after. I feel especially bad for Michael because the work he's currently doing here in Albuquerque is actually what he originally started out doing when he became an employee for Sprint. Really tedious and drawn out stuff. Not only that, but he has endure it for twelve hours a day, three days in a row. If either of us is eager to get things moving along with India, it's got to be him.

But that's not to say it's been any easier for me to sit in the hotel room making five-categoried to-do lists and researching expatriate information all day. In between forgetting my Kindle at the gym (sucked, but found it), seeing Xmen: First Class (awful), then seeing Super 8 (wasn't awful, but wasn't the best), seeing our first road runner (looked nothing like the cartoon), reading (of course), making new social icons (as displayed in the sidebar), and working on a friendship bracelets (totally rockin'); we find ourselves twiddling our thumbs, anxiously waiting to get back home.

Thankfully, it will only be one more week before Michael will be back in Kansas City and less than that for me. Part of me wants to feel bummed that we weren't able to travel around more here in New Mexico. But another part of me is still pretty content with the little things we've been able to see and do so far. Like so:

Chicken & Dumplings?

Parmesan Garlic Chicken?

Parmesan Garlic Chicken with noodles AND homemade Alfredo Sauce?

Wait a minute...

Spaghetti?

Chicken Fried Rice?

I think I'm beginning to notice a trend here...

Orange Chicken?

Turkey Cheeseburgers?

I guess I should have warned you that this post was mainly written to display my incredible hotel cooking prowess. But that doesn't mean I'm any less satisfied with how we've spent our time in Albuquerque - so it's not entirely off-track. You've gotta eat, right?

I also FINALLY completed the latest friendship bracelet I've been working on. I ran out of thread mid-bracelet and it quickly became a macramé nightmare trying to extend the strings. But alls well that ends well. After I started it, I asked God who I should give it to and I felt like he told me to make it for a friend's daughter. I put it in the post yesterday and it should hopefully be delivered by Tuesday.

Still reading my latest book, The Memoirs of Cleopatra: A Novel by Margaret George. It's my second historical fiction by George and I've got to say, I'm not really enjoying it as much as her other novel. Too much emphasis on romance and I don't entirely care for her portrayal of Cleopatra's character. But that's the trouble with historical fiction; you don't always wind up agreeing with character interpretation.

Four days and counting until I make the twelve-hour drive back home - then it's sista' sista' time for an entire week. Let the cheesy hair metal/80s music begin!

What's the longest amount of time you've had to spend in a hotel? How did you pass the time? 

India-Induced Insomnia

Can't sleep, so why not blog about India?

It seems like it's been a tug-of-war since we were first introduced to this incredible place. We were warned before going that we'd either love it or we'd hate it. We loved it.

Well, actually, at first we hated it.

I mean, it's unorganized, inefficient, people bobble their heads when they talk, cows lay freely in the street, "yes" doesn't always mean "yes", poverty is unbelievable, the smells are unforgettable, traffic will give you a headache, trash is everywhere, and the attitude of "chalta hai" makes life a general frustration for any true American. It's no wonder we were once asked one of those typical pragmatic questions by a family member, "Is there any redeeming value to India?"

I admit I still have trouble answering that question. To an American, India is your worst nightmare. Actually, to just about any Westerner, India would be your worst nightmare. If you're looking for kept front lawns, clean lines, punctual meetings or any sort of efficiency whatsoever - better go enjoy a walk around your own neighborhood and forget about India.

But almost as if to prove the old saying, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder", Michael and I found ourselves missing it. I think it took coming back to the U.S. to see the charm and character of India. For all it's negatives, there was something that tugged at us a little. 

On our return home, we landed in Chicago and from there flew home to Kansas City. I remember the first time I looked outside the window just before landing and being fascinated by the clean lines of the fields below. Then as we drove home I couldn't stop noticing the clean grass without litter or people sleeping on it. No circus horns or trucks decorated with garland. No naked children running up to the car for money. No stinky smells waiting outside. No motorcycles with families of five crammed onto one vehicle. No tuk-tuks. It was like... Wow, on a scale of one to ten, one being no character at all and ten being India, America was boring! Of course I was dealing with "reverse" culture-shock from coming back to the U.S., so it didn't take long to readjust. And there were more trips back and forth that eventually made the contrasts less difficult to process. 

It's hard to believe that it's been almost a year since the last time we were in India. On the afternoon of our last day there, it rained heavily and unusually late for that time of the year. Most of the monsoon rains are done by late July or early August, but this year had a longer season than normal. Michael got back to our room from work and told me to grab the camera - there was a rainbow outside. We took the elevator to the top floor and I snapped a few pictures.

Isn't that just like God? In my heart I felt Him saying with a smile: "I've heard your prayers, you'll be back."After so much laboring in prayer to be able to return to India, God was sealing the deal with one of his most popular promise signatures. So naturally, we expected Michael's long-term assignment would be approved without a hitch and we'd be back before we knew it.

We learned however, that God's time-table was obviously different than ours.

Since September we've been through ups and downs, moves and marriages, friendships and funerals. There have been times we were sooo certain we would be sent back to India, but for whatever reason things just didn't work out. I've lost count of how many meetings, talks, proposals, ifs, whens, whats, whos have been discussed about Michael returning to India. Not one of the plans have come through and each felt like a tease. We began to consider what other ways we could go back. Would it be much later in life than we were expecting? All the rules seemed to have changed. 

I remember being at church one morning feeling so discouraged and bummed. Everyone's worshipping but my heart was so broken because we were just informed no more assignments to India would be offered. There was some legal trouble between Michael's company and India so no one else was allowed back. I remember thinking, "What now God? What does this mean? Why does this keep happening? What are your plans for us?" I couldn't help crying. The whole situation was so disappointing. We were sure that this time everything would work out. In that moment all God said to me was: "You will go back, but it will be under different circumstances." I tried pressing in for more, but that was all I got. So I wrote it down in my little pink journal and we waited, and waited... and we waited some more.

And then, again out of the blue, another proposal. Another long-term assignment. And not six months, or even a year, but a year-and-a-half. Eighteen months in India? We couldn't believe it. Is this really happening?

Sometimes I go from being excited to being completely overwhelmed. Here we are in Albuquerque, New Mexico and they want Michael to leave for India by the first of September. It's hard not to feel anxious and swallowed up by everything that needs to get done. Visas, and packing, and doctor check-ups, and legal documents, and selling our vehicles, and finding a new place to live, and, and, and, and... 

Of course, to-do list queen here already has two separate five-columned lists of preparations and tasks to be done before the time of departure. And we're hoping Michael will be allowed to come home early to give him the time necessary to get ready.

I've had a lot of time to think about this and in the middle of the swings between excitement and dread, I notice another very difficult emotion: sadness. There is a cost to everything, and this is no exception. I don't think we'll fully understand the cost this will bring to our loved ones and that's a heavy truth to accept. For some reason when I think about leaving my little sister, it affects me the most. Not that I don't love everyone, but I think older siblings never get over the worry of abandoning their younger brothers or sisters. And a lot can happen in a year-and-a-half. Things change, people change, and life goes on. I know that the full weight of that has not hit me entirely yet, and it kind of scares me.

I've been asking God, "Are we doing this for you? Is this what you want?" And the old verse from C.T. Studd's poem keeps coming to mind: "Only one life 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last." In the book of Galatians Paul says that fourteen years after receiving the Gospel from Jesus, he went back to check with the elders in the church to make sure he wasn't "[running] the race in vain". Now that it seems we're finally going to India, in some ways I feel like Paul. If I'm not doing this for God, it's not worth it. And if we are doing this for God, how can we be the most intentional and bear the most fruit for Him while we're there?

Jesus said there was a cost to following Him. Is he worth it? Is Jesus worth my family, my home, my time, my possessions, my life? And the question He asks in return is: Are the lost in India worth it? I've already given my life over to Him, and Jesus is not divided. He is both King and Redeemer at once. To live is Christ and that is my only option. "And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Mat 10:38-39)

The cost of following him is great, but he also promised to all "who [have] left houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or mother or children or lands, for [his] name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life." (Mat. 19:29) Jesus is the ultimate reward. And the One who calls me away from my family and home is the one who loves them more and will care for them better than I ever could.

In the Gospel of Luke Jesus proclaimed: "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Lk 12:32) "Fear not"... The same words a woman at church received and shared at the beginning of the year. "Fear not" ... The same words God said to Joshua before he took possession of the Promised Land.

So the rainbow stands, like all of God's promises. Whether we goto India tomorrow or 10 years from now, His Word will never pass away. May I remember and treasure His Word in my heart above all else. "For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory." (1 Cor 1:20)

Jesus is Lord.

"Happy [Sante Fe] Trails to you"

Burro Alley Cafe

Last Tuesday afternoon, Michael and I took a little drive up to New Mexico's state capitol: Sante Fe. I think it's pretty cool that we live near by where the historic Sante Fe trail starts and now we can say we've visited the city where it ended!

We originally wanted to eat at a Mexican restaurant called Los Mayas which was listed on Sante Fe's tourism website and was highly reviewed. Unfortunately it either moved or shut down because after an hour of driving and walking around, we never did find it. But while looking for Los Mayas, we ended up in the downtown shopping and art district. 

So we spent the rest of our time walking by rows of other restaurants, art galleries, and Native American jewelry stores. Michael and I eventually decided to eat at a little place called 'Burro Alley Cafe'. It was absolutely gorgeous outside so we sat on the back patio. Interesting menu selection, but Michael ordered his trusty bacon cheeseburger and I ordered the hummus and pita appetizer.

They had an overwhelming array of pastries and sweets, but I decided on an anise-flavored butter cookie called a Bizcochito. Bizcochito cookies are unique to New Mexico and are actually the state's official cookie. I didn't know that at the time - I just heard the girl behind the counter say something about anise and a cookie and I was sold. It reminded me of a Snickerdoodle, except of course, with anise. (I foresee a recipe experiment with Bizcochito in my near future...)

In front of the American Indian War Memorial Monument in 

Sante Fe Plaza

We left Burro Alley Cafe and walked some more in what's called the "Heart of Sante Fe", or Sante Fe's city square. The square has a small performing stage, a few food stalls, a grassy area, and a monument dedicated to the American Indian War. Michael and I stopped for a while to listen to one man playing a harp, people watch, and peruse more Native American jewelry and artwork.

From there we went to get a closer look at the Cathedral Basilica of Saint Francis of Assisi then headed back towards more of the shopping and art galleries. On our way to to Galerie Züger, we passed a man sitting down and holding a sign asking for money. My heart felt super compassionate towards the guy, but we didn't stop to talk to him. It sucked. I hate it when my heart breaks for someone but I don't yield to it and rationalize it away. It's sooo disobedient and irresponsible to Jesus. Not only that, but I thought I heard the name "Ralph" as we walked by him so it was really obvious God wanted to touch this man. But even if I hadn't felt anything or received any words, Jesus already gave the command two thousand years ago to love as you go. There's simply no excuse for disobedience.

Cathedral Basilica of Saint Francis of Assisi

We went ahead to view the exhibits at Galerie Züger. They were currently displaying sculptures by Gib Singleton and paintings by Michael Atkinson. Pope Benedict XVI's crosier is topped by one of Singleton's bronze crucifixes and his work is internationally-renowned. I admit that I've started to find depictions of Jesus hanging on a cross morbid (Jesus is alive and well!), so some of Singleton's art wasn't as appealing to me. But there were a couple sculptures (one showing a Roman soldier whipping Jesus and another with Jesus collasped under the weight of the cross) that nearly brought me to tears. Seeing Jesus so submitted and vulnerable always touches me. We spit upon, slapped, mocked, and nailed God-in-the-flesh to a crude wooden cross. Yet He endured it all without saying a word. The One who deserved to be the most exalted allowed himself to be the most trampled and abused for our sake:

"He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness." (1 Peter 2:22-24)

So then I felt even more like a turd for not submitting myself to the compassion Jesus has for the poor. Here I was, playing the pious little Christian in my safe bubble of Christian art. But admiring a figurine of Jesus on a cross doesn't put food in the mouth of the hungry. I felt sick at how religious I was being. I also realized I was waiting on Michael to take the lead, which is normally the healthy order of things in a marriage. But Jesus is my Lord - not my husband. So I serve the Lord first and Michael second. Michael and I are one flesh, but each individually accountable for our actions before Jesus. As soon as we were done viewing the artwork I told Michael I thought I needed to go back, so we did. I hesitated out of my own perceived awkwardness, but the reality that His Kingdom is not of this world put things back into perspective for me.

We approached the man again and asked him if the name 'Ralph' meant anything to him. But he said the only thing he could think of was that 'Ralph' reminded him of his drinking days (which I'm sure are far from over). We asked him if there was anything he needed prayer for and quite bluntly he told us he needed protection from people trying to murder him. Now whether that's true or not isn't my business - my one and only mission is to love. "No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the One who enlisted him." (2 Timothy 2:4) Whether this man suffered from schizophrenia, demonic oppression or men were genuinely trying to murder him is irrelevant. Jesus is the solution to all those problems, and it's my job as His servant to proclaim and demonstrate that truth. Michael and I thanked God for his life, declared protection and rebuked any murderous spirit pursuing him.

But after we left I still didn't feel at peace for being obedient. I told myself it wasn't about me and it was about Jesus, but I still felt... disappointed. It just didn't seem like the encounter had any real, lasting impact on that man and I really struggled with how impersonal it felt. That of course brought in feelings of guilt for not being obedient the first time around: "Was it because I ignored him? Did I make it awkward? Did I make him feel like an afterthought? Jesus wouldn't have done that. I should have listened more. I should have gotten him food. I should have done more..." In the gospel of John it says that Jesus did not look at men's faces, and so often I find myself doing the exact opposite. I know that Jesus was so determined to do only what he saw the Father doing not just for our good, but for His perfect will too. There's simply no room for the approval of men when you're wholly satisfied by the approval of the Father. And more importantly, Michael reminded me, truth isn't based on a feeling. It doesn't matter if I don't "feel" obedient, the truth is, because of Jesus, I am obedient. Obedience is not dependent on a feeling! The battle for truth is in our minds: "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12) I had to tell myself that no matter how I felt or how that man felt, I did what God instructed me to do and that was all that mattered.

Outside of Holy Spirit Espresso

Still wrestling with my emotions, we walked on to find a place to get coffee. Michael stopped two guys holding a couple cups and asked where they got them. "Oh man, let me tell you where the best place to get coffee is... And the guy is super cool." He pointed us in the direction of a literal hole in the wall named - get ready for this - "Holy Spirit Espresso." Would I seem entirely credulous if I told you I took it as a sign that God was affirming Michael's and my obedience and our way of life? "For all who are led by the spirit are the sons of God." (Romans 8:14) All rationalizing and reasoning aside, I still find I have the heart of a child. But I guess that's best for the Kingdom anyways, isn't it?

And as if to prove it was meant to be interpreted solely as a sign from the Lord (and not "the best coffee in Sante Fe" as the sign boasted), the coffee was awful and the owner less than friendly. There was literally no honest way we could claim it was for a good cup of joe we were led there. The only explanation was that we were led by the Holy Spirit. Maybe that's taking things too far, but who am I to be choosy with my "signs" from the Lord?

On our way home we saw a dust devil and it was one of the coolest things I've seen since we've been here. We were maybe about a mile and a half away when we first saw it. As we got closer you could better gauge just how big it was. My grandpa once shared how dangerous they were, but I had only seen the small ones you occasionally see in suburban settings that last for a few seconds and dissipate. I couldn't imagine being worried over something like that. But this guy was huge. It would have been no trouble for it to cause damage to a person or other outdoor objects.

"The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night did not depart
from before the people" (Exodus 13:22)

Some say when the Israelites were leaving Egypt that the pillar of cloud God use to lead them by day may have been a large dust devil or whirlwind. So yet again our "pillar of cloud by day", our "Holy Spirit Espresso", our Counselor and Friend reminds us He will never leave us or forsake us. In all our comings and goings, He is faithful to the very end and is our ever-present Help in time of need.

It's hard not to love a God as big and creative as that.

What are some ways God communicates with you? Do you seek those opportunities out or do they seem to "fall in your lap"?

Hoarders: Hilton Edition

One of my biggest pet-peaves is having an uncontrollable amount of "stuff"laying around and taking up space. There is not one single junk drawer in our home. Not one. Sorry, just can't go there. We all have flaws and mine just happens to be perfection. (You may continue reading after you're done laughing.)

Really though, it's not just me. Neither Michael or I like the feeling of being weighed down by lots of possessions. So I frequently go through old clothes, books, cds, dvds, decorations, etc. and make donation boxes. It seems like I'm always making little mental notes of what's in our container/closet inventory to see what can stay and what can go. I imagine the way most women feel when they shop is the way I feel when I rid out. It's like some kind of therapy or something.

But that all gets overridden he moment I enter a hotel room.

Suddenly my mind enters what I like to call "Complimentary Strategic Accumulation". It's like I turn part gerbil and start stuffing my cheek pockets with every little free shampoo, pen and sugar packet I can get my hands on. And in an extended-stay hotel, the selection of free stuff is even more generous than usual.

So far these are the complimentary items we've been "hoarding" since we've been here:

From the Breakfast Buffet:

• Bananas and other fruit (for our smoothies)
• Oatmeal (breakfast)
• Honeynut Cheerios (snacks for Michael at work)
• Sugar packets (for coffee)
• Milk (for cereal and Michael's good old chocolate milk)

From our room service:

• Shampoo/Conditioner, toiletries, etc (for Veronica's Voice)
• Pens and notepads (Hello? To-Do List Queen!)

I'll admit my excuses for hoarding everything else may still make me tacky -- but my excuse for reserving the travel-size toiletries has a noble cause... On Friday and Saturday nights, volunteers from Veronica's Voice hand out "care kits" with sandwiches and sanitary provisions to sex workers in Kansas City. 

Most people are unaware that the majority of women in prostitution have been abused into it - and not willingly as some are determined to believe. Basic needs like food, shelter, clothes, and proper sanitation get lost in a world of darkness. So the care bags that Veronica's Voice volunteers hand out on the weekend nights are literally a God-send to many broken women.

See, there is some redeeming value to my hotel hoarding problem.

What are some "freebie strategies" you use when shopping or traveling? Do you think it's "cheap" to take advantage of complimentary items or offers?

--------

For more information on Veronica's Voice and how you can help those in the Kansas City commercial sex industry, please visit their website: http://www.veronicasvoice.org/

"[Hotel]time... and the livin's easy"

(First off, go check out TheJesusMethod.com and their new logo. I hear it's really cool and *whoever* made it is even cooler!)

Homewood Suites, Albuquerque

Since I've been in Albuquerque a little over a week now, I thought I'd post a few pictures of where we'll be "living" the next couple months.

When Michael's team began making arrangements for this trip, they originally voted on staying at a Candlewood Suites. But after two of his co-workers arrived in their rooms they were disgusted to find unclean/used sheets, dirty showers and "mystery substances" on the carpet, walls and furniture. Um, ew? You're talking to a person who first thing when I enter a hotel room I rub down every door handle, knob, remote and light-switch with a clorox wipe. I throw the comforter as far away from the bed as possible (they never wash those things - more ew) and I'm not above lifting up the mattress and taking off the headboard to check for bed bugs. And I NEVER, I repeat, NEVER walk around barefoot. Buh.. gives me goosebumps just thinking about the unknown amount of germs and nasties thriving in any hotel room's carpet. Yeah, there's no way I would have spent one minute longer in that place than what it would have taken me to speak to a manager and get a refund.

Living Area

After two nights there - which would have been two nights too many for me - they temporarily moved to a Holiday Inn Express until rooms at the Hilton Homewood Suites became available. Michael called to let me know of the final change in accommodations, and seemed really happy with where we'd be living for the next eight weeks. He also signed up for HHonors, so he'll earn hotel points and airline miles while he's here in Albuquerque. He did something similar last year for our extended trips to India and racked up an insane amount of points. We've actually heard many businesses are starting to have policies against employees earning "perks" while traveling on the company's dime, so we're pretty fortunate that Michael's company has no restrictions on that presently.

Bathroom

They are in the process of remodeling the gym here so I've had to goto the Hilton Garden Inn down the road to exercise, but they should be done within the next week or so. Unlike most other times when we've gone out of town, I've been able to maintain a healthy fitness and eating routine since we've been here. I can't stand fast food, so it's awesome that we can buy our own groceries and stay away from processed foods. AND, and, and - they have two Costcos relatively near by - how could my little hotel world possibly get any better???

Kitchen

Michael is working two hours or so on Tuesday, six on Wednesday and twelve Thursday-Saturday. It's a lot, but he'll still have enough days off every week if we decide to visit different cities and sites. We're driving about an hour and half northeast of Albuquerque tomorrow afternoon to Sante Fe. There is a scenic route that takes you north past Sante Fe, through the mountains then back down into the city -- but it takes an additional two to three hours so we're planning that for another weekend. Tomorrow we just want to check things out, take some pictures, eat more New Mexican food, and of course - drink coffee.

Man, living life in the fast lane, I'm tellin' ya...

More pictures to come!

What's the longest amount of time you've ever had to spend in a hotel? How did you make the most of it and what are some things you did to feel more at "home"?

Our anniversary of adventure

“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.” - G.K. Chesterton

---------

This past Tuesday was Michael's and my three-year anniversary.

On the Iowa-side of the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge

I spent the second to last week of May in Houston enjoying plenty of food, family and friends. Since it was a fairly quick trip, I actually created a spreadsheet beforehand to manage the time while I was there. OCD yes? But it did help me out making sure I got to see almost everyone. Over the years I've really come to treasure the relationships I have there and my heart is immensely blessed to be with them. I was able to pray for a few people while I was in town, but I was particularly burdened for the owner of a local coffee shop. Back in January, Michael and I stopped by a nearby coffee joint to "juice-up" before making the twelve-hour trek back home. We visited with the owner and she shared that her husband had just suffered a stroke and she was anxiously trying to close up so she could go to the hospital to be with him. We prayed with her and went on our way.

I went back to that same coffee shop this trip with a couple friends. After ordering our coffee I stayed by the counter to ask how her husband was doing. Knowing she didn't recognize me at first, I wasn't sure if she would remember Michael and I praying with her. But after I described Michael's hair she remembered who I was and thanked me for asking. She soon broke in to tears and I learned that despite our praying for her husband, he died two days later. It broke my heart. They had been married for thirty years. Thirty years of memories, companionship, growth, love, children, good times, bad times... adventure. What could I say? All that came to mind was, "I'm so sorry" and I asked her if I could give her a hug. She came around the counter and we hugged while she continued to weep. The only comfort she finds is the knowledge he knew Jesus and will be in heaven waiting for her. I prayed with her again before joining my friends. As I walked away, I left thinking about Michael's and my upcoming anniversary and how devastated I'd be if something happened to him now, let alone after thirty years of marriage.

It says that Jesus burst into tears at the sight of the Jews mourning Lazarus' death. Jesus was God in the flesh, and God Himself knows the heavy cost of death. He knew that death brought separation to not only loved ones here on earth, but between Him and His creation. Horatio Spafford, well acquainted with grief after the loss of five children and his livelihood, wrote this opening verse to the hymn "It Is Well with My Soul": "When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul." Thanks be to God that no matter our lot, we can still say death has been defeated that all may go well with our soul.

I got home Sunday and that Thursday Michael found out he would be working in New Mexico for the next two months. A little over a month ago he was asked if he would be willing to lead a team there, but after all the plans with India falling through we didn't expect this assignment would come together either. At the last minute it did and Michael was asked to fly out the following Tuesday. So we went ahead with our anniversary plans and drove out Thursday afternoon to Omaha. It was a beautiful drive, but obviously our minds were focused on the upcoming departure to New Mexico.

Old Market

We spent the first part of Friday at the nationally famous Henry Doorly Zoo. The zoo is known for it's research and successful attempts with artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization in tigers, gorillas and other species. We always enjoy visiting zoos in whatever city we travel to. Personally, God speaks to me lot through creation and I like admiring His imagination and design. After the zoo, we had dinner at an Indian restaurant in Omaha's downtown Old Market. Old Market ended up being our regular "hub" for coffee, food and spending the evenings.

Saturday we bought tickets to the Pulitzer Prize Exhibit at Durham Museum. If I remember anything about this trip, it will be that exhibit. There were so many photographs capturing the darkest and the brightest in human nature. The song "How He Loves Us" was playing like a soundtrack in my head, and I caught myself tearing up as I read the stories behind each photo. At our worst and at our best, we were made in the image of God and Jesus still loves us. Sunday was our last day so we walked around Lauritzen Botanical Gardens and afterwards had some more yummy ethnic food down in Old Market. Lauritzen Gardens is still in it's infancy and there are many more garden exhibits in the works that would make it a great attraction to visit again in the future. Unfortunately it was so hot though that we didn't stay very long this time.

Michael's Hario manual grinder and my Marc Jacobs Daisy parfume :)

We drove home Monday morning and decided to exchange gifts. I love perfumes so a while back I gave Michael a list of scents I like. Some people might not find this romantic, but we've learned that it's equally unromantic to give each other gifts that we're not really interested in. We've only been together a total of six years, so in the grand scheme of things we still have a lot to learn about each other. I think movies have had laid the unfortunate expectation that unless a man can figure out a woman's mind and purchases the perfect gift on a special occasion, it's not really romantic. But the reality is that the only man in my life who will ever be able to understand my heart and mind that intimately is Jesus. So in the mean time, Michael will get gift-lists.

Tuesday afternoon, the actual day of our anniversary, Michael flew out to Albuquerque. Since we were only given five days notice before he needed to leave, and at least four of those days were spent in Omaha, I stayed behind to make arrangements for while we would gone the next two months. One task I wanted to take care of in particular was baking. There isn't an oven in the hotel room, so in order to have home-baked sweets for our time in Albuquerque I needed recipes that would hold up in a freezer. And since they can be frozen and enjoyed with our smoothies or coffee; I made several varieties of bran muffins and a double batch of chocolate chip scones.

Outside of Albuquerque International Sunport

After getting everything ready, I got up Friday morning and began the twelve hour trek from Kansas City to Albuquerque. The drive between Kansas City and Oklahoma City went by fairly quickly since I've taken it so many times going back and forth to Houston. After that, I wish I could say I enjoyed the drive west of Oklahoma City but it was pretty boring. I'm not a big fan of the whole dirt, sand, rocks and more dirt terrain. And it was sad seeing so many patches of burned ground near the interstate. I prayed for rain as I continued on, knowing that most of these areas are currently in an "Exceptional Drought".

I finally arrived in Albuquerque that evening, and we'll be here to stay for the next couple months. Michael and I keep comparing this trip to our first stint in India. Obviously the fact we're in the country of America alone makes this a significantly easier trip, but we also have access to a basic kitchen and our own vehicle. In India we had neither, which meant we went two months without a home-cooked meal or being able to drive ourselves anywhere. But because we still lack an oven, I won't be making my baking posts for a while. So until further notice we'll have to make due with my experiments in crock-pot and stove-top cuisine. It'll be just another chapter in the adventure of our marriage!

What are some ways you keep the romance and excitement alive in your marriage? Can you think of ways to make ordinary, day-to-day "inconveniences" into an adventure?